About Staying
by LionsMakeYouBrave
Summary: Four years ago, Ashley spent three months falling head over heels for a girl that she met in Cali, only to find out that the girl is heading back to England. Now, she is a famous rock star with an awesome band and girlfriend. But when a girl who looks just like Spencer appears at one of their shows, can Ashley hold on to all she's ever known or will she fall apart again?


Okay guys, so I started kind of brainstorming ideas while I was in rehab about this new story. And I haven't gotten a chance to write a South of Nowhere fic, so here it is. I hope you enjoy it. I will be updating These Scars Remind Us AND this story (About Staying) probably in the next 24 hours.

**Title: **About Staying**  
Rating: **M**  
Summary: **Four years ago, Ashley spends three months falling head over heels for a girl that she met in California, only to find out that the girl is heading back to England. Now, she is a famous rock star with an awesome band, career, and girlfriend. But when a girl who looks just like the one Ashley fell for appears at one of their shows, can Ashley hold on to all she's ever known, or will she fall apart all over again?  
**Disclaimer:** I own nothing from SoN

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**August 27, 2009.**

The hands of Ashley Davies met the hips of a blonde, Spencer Carlin, that she had spent the last three months of her summer in California with. Ashley and Spencer are standing in the airport, Spencer's suitcase is on the ground next to their feet.

"Do you think we'll ever see each other, again?" Spencer asks in all seriousness as Ashley's thumbs rub circles on Spencer's bare skin. The truth is, Ashley didn't know the answer to that. She knew Spencer was going back to London, and that was thousands upon thousands of miles away.

"I hope so," Ashley answers honestly, smiling sweetly at the blonde. "I'm going to miss you, Spence." Ashley softly presses a kiss to Spencer's lip and pulls away. "You better get going…" She says somberly, a few tears streaming down her cheeks.

And with that, and a sad smile, Spencer nods and picks up her suitcase. She turns to walk towards her gate, glancing back at the brunette who was trying her best to fight back tears.

**Present Day (September 8, 2013).**

Ashley stood on the stage in the small venue in New York City. The lights were flashing on her and her band and she breathes heavily as the bands finishes playing out. It's been four years since Ashley got a spark inside her to start writing music again. It may have been after Spencer left the airport or good timing. Yeah, okay, it was after the airport and after the way that Ashley had started to fall for this girl that she knew would be leaving.

"Okay, guys, this is our last song. We hoped you enjoyed your night! Once again, we are Rewrite the Ending! We'll see you again NEW YORK!" Ashley screams in the microphone as Lexy, the guitarist hits the first note of the song.

_You still cross my mind from time to time;  
Still so set on finding out where we went wrong, and why.  
So I retrace our every step with an unsure pen,  
Trying to figure out of my head thinks, but…  
My head, just ain't what it used to be.  
And then again, what's the point any way?_

Ashley draws breath in for the next verse, watching the sea of people hold up their lighters and cellphones.

_I remember you ascending all the stairs up to the balcony,  
To see if you could see me hidden, quietly away.  
I remember the skin of your fingers,  
The spot three-quarters up I'd always touch when I was out of things to say.  
You held my hand, but you were too afraid to speak,  
You were too afraid to speak, and I could never understand.  
I remember when you leaned in quick to kiss me, and I swear,  
Not a single force on earth could stop the trembling of my hand._

Blonde flashes before Ashley, her voice straining in her throat. She's tried multiple times to get this image of Spencer out of her head when she first wrote this song, but it's too imprinted, it's too fresh, even being four years ago.

_I remembered how you smiled through the smoke,  
In a crowded, little coffee house and laughed at all my jokes.  
And I remember the way that you dressed,  
How we wasted all the best of us in alcohol and sweat.  
And I remember when I knew that you'd be leaving,  
How I barely kept up breathing.  
And I bet, if I had to do it all again, I'd feel the same pain._

Tears of anguish fall down her cheeks as she continues to pour her heart out into the song. Ashley was breaking, but she knew the song could only be complete if she showed her true colors in it.

_I remember panicked circles in the terminal, in tears.  
How I wept to God in fits, I've hated airports ever since._

Ashley throws her microphone up in the air while Lexy plays out her solo. She catches it with her left hand and looks out into the crowd, towards the back of the venue and sees a girl who's staring directly at her, the girls eyes watering up. _No, it can't be_. She thinks as the solo ends. She brings the microphone back up towards her lips.

_I guess it's true what people say,  
"That only time can heal the pain."  
And every single day, I feel it fade away.  
But, I still remember how the distance tricked us.  
And led us helpless by the wrists into a pit to be devoured  
I remember how we held so strong to this,  
Though we had never really settled on a way out.  
I still remember the silence,  
And how we'd always find a way  
To turn and run to our mistakes.  
I still remember how it all came back together,  
Just to fall apart again._

My dear, I hear your voice in mine.  
I've been alone here, I've been alone here.  
I've been afraid, my dear. I've been afraid, my dear.  
I've been at home here. I've been at home here.  
You've been away for years. You've been away for years.  
I've been alone. I've been alone. I've been alone.

_I breathed your name into the air; I etched your name into me.  
I felt my anger swelling; I swam into its sea.  
I held your name inside my heart, but it got buried in my fear.  
It tore the wiring of my brain; I did my best to keep it clear._

_So, dear, no matter how we part, I hold you sweetly in my head.  
And if I do not miss a part of you, a part of me is dead.  
If I can't love you as a lover, I will love you as a friend.  
And I will lay a bed before you; keep you safe until the end. _

The song rings out and Ashley hears a roar erupt from the crowd below her. But she's not as concerned with the crowd as she is with the fact that she just saw a girl who looked exactly like Spencer. Maybe it was her doppelganger, or maybe it was actually her; but Ashley wanted to know. She sets her microphone back up on the stand and walks off with the rest of her band backstage.

It wasn't until her girlfriend ran up to her and threw her arms around her that she came back to reality.

"You did amazing, babe!" Her girlfriend, Miranda, exclaims as she presses a kiss to her cheek.

"Thanks, Mir," Ashley replies with a small smile. She can hear the fans in the venue screaming 'One more song!' over and over again and Ashley knew that was her cue to go. "I'll meet you back in the tour bus after this song, okay?" Ashley reassures her girlfriend before kissing her softly on the lips. Miranda nods and turns towards the exit of the venue.

"Break a leg out there, babe." She says sweetly. Ashley nods and walks off to find Lexy, her nerves now shooting through the roof.

After finding the small, Scottish girl, Ashley's hand meet with Lexy's shoulders, shaking her lightly. "I can't do this, I can't play the encore. I don't think I can handle it." Ashley pleads.

"Why not?" Lexy's voice rings, "You've played it in every single city on this tour."

"Because… I think Spencer's here." Ashley replies vaguely.

"So?" Lexy taps her toes and then looks at her best friend, "Oh, come on, Ash. It's just a song and that was four years ago. Why would it make a difference now?"

"Because you know for a damn fact that our encore song is about her." Ashley groans, running her fingers through her hair.

"I know, but FOUR YEARS AGO, Ash. It was four years ago. It's not a big deal!" Lexy tries to reassure her.

"But it is a big deal, Lex!" Ashley whines.

"Why!? It was just a kiss."

"I know it was, but it's so much more than just a kiss." Ashley rubs her eyes, they're stinging, probably from crying in the previous song they had play.

"You're not giving me a reason to believe _why_, though, Ash." Lexy said.

Ashley sighs, Lexy just doesn't get it. "Because most of the sex in my life, wasn't as personal as that kiss."

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Soooo. I don't know. I kind of like this idea. Let me know what you think?  
**Song Used: **Andria by La Dispute


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